so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize