it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
