summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
smell my finger.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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