that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize