did i walk over a car last night?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
