I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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