6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
