i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
