these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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