Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
