dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
