Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
