u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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