She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
