Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
