with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
