its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
