I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
