He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize