I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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