You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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