Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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