Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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