He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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