The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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