She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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