We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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