Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
