Me. At least after what I've been through.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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