As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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