I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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