I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Terrible idea I love it
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
