So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize
