im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize