I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
