Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Too much gin, very little bucket
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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