Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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