READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
