I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
