your thong is hanging out like whoa
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
