Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if only i could text you this smell
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
