What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
