better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
