It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
