But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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