hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
