As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
