a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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