Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize