I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
