I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
