I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
