I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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