Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize