Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
