Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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