Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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