my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
