Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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