You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm sobbing to NWA
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
