pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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