Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
