you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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