hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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