you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
